tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8062433684202711647.post5375815627599372958..comments2023-10-01T09:05:21.744-07:00Comments on MISS Blog: What is sexual coercion?MISShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804523572880148978noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8062433684202711647.post-33649997822075588892014-05-18T23:18:23.167-07:002014-05-18T23:18:23.167-07:00Actually, breakup threats after being denied acces...Actually, breakup threats after being denied access to another person's body is a known form of coercion used against people of all genders.<br />Some people break up because they don't want the same things and that is fine.<br />However, threatening to break up to change an emotionally reliant person's "no" into an obviously reluctant "yes" (since they previously did not want sex/weren't ready) is manipulative coercion.<br />Leaving is not abusive. But making someone have sex with you when you are aware they are reluctant and don't actually want to have sex in order to keep you around IS abusive. No matter the gender/sex of the perpetrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8062433684202711647.post-66067046021473228442014-05-01T18:58:33.493-07:002014-05-01T18:58:33.493-07:00So by "threatening a breakup" you mean w...So by "threatening a breakup" you mean what? That a guy has to hang around to provide a woman with ongoing emotional support when she does not want to have a physical relationship, or he is a rapist? That's really abusive.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8062433684202711647.post-23972121376599521642013-08-02T13:18:49.627-07:002013-08-02T13:18:49.627-07:00I agree that sexual coercion is a real issue. When...I agree that sexual coercion is a real issue. When I was in college, I got involved with an older guy who was quite sexually experienced. I was a virgin. We started hanging out and I liked him. We kissed which I was fine with, but he quickly wanted more. I would say no to his advances (to get undressed, engage in touching "below the belt", etc) and sometimes he would stop for a few seconds then start back again. Once when I tried to push his hand away, he held it down and when he saw how upset I was he said, "what? It's not like I'm going to rape you." He pushed and pushed me into performing oral sex on him even when I told him I didn't want to, and somehow I ended up doing it with him telling me I couldn't stop because he knew I really wanted to do it. I even cried twice. I thought it was all my fault, that I could've said no more firmly and he would e stoppedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8062433684202711647.post-48693714624975041612013-06-10T21:19:58.326-07:002013-06-10T21:19:58.326-07:00Is sexual coercion illegal? if not perhaps the ti...Is sexual coercion illegal? if not perhaps the time has come that it should be..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8062433684202711647.post-66743412252834341892012-08-12T11:30:04.566-07:002012-08-12T11:30:04.566-07:00Wow, this is an interesting thread. Although the p...Wow, this is an interesting thread. Although the person that spoke so eloquently about the larger issues that MISS touches on he/she completely misses the point of this movement! MISS is a very positive and empowering movement for WOMEN, for speaking out about demeaning, violent and personal issues women in the NANA region face. I'm thrilled this movement is taking off so women can share and learn from each other and grow among other caring and nurturing women! <br /><br />The person's comments could be construed and understood as another example of the coercion the MISS movement is addressing. I say we continue this movement for, by and about women.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8062433684202711647.post-17311890523633690532012-08-08T16:08:09.320-07:002012-08-08T16:08:09.320-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8062433684202711647.post-74022442912982272822012-08-03T17:20:32.642-07:002012-08-03T17:20:32.642-07:00j,
Thank you for your perspective on this piece,a...j,<br /><br />Thank you for your perspective on this piece,and we very much agree with your sentiments that men are a big part of winning this battle. While our focus is on women, MISS does not intend to alienate men or deny that men are also victims, in this case of sexual coercion. We will be sure to include gender neutral language in edits and pieces to come when issues are being discussed in a general manner. However, in the case of personal accounts gender specific language will be left up to the writer to ensure that no one is silenced.<br /><br />Hannah and JacquiMISShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17804523572880148978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8062433684202711647.post-57002331672218904242012-08-03T10:57:51.339-07:002012-08-03T10:57:51.339-07:00Yes, it is me again. I wanted to add that I was n...Yes, it is me again. I wanted to add that I was not trying to justify men or anyone committing acts of sexual violence. If anyone commits abuse or harm of any kind, they should be subjected to the penalty of law.<br /><br />I was merely stating that in order to win this battle, we also have to win over the hearts and minds of men - not just women. So if we focus on rallying men to our cause, rather than alienating them, we will have accomplished a great deal.jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10605685712372751524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8062433684202711647.post-24626799712640717002012-08-03T10:09:21.242-07:002012-08-03T10:09:21.242-07:00I am really excited to hear about your program and...I am really excited to hear about your program and the good work you are doing. I thought the information in this article was accurate and arguments nicely made. <br /> <br /><br />I am really concerned, however, that you are alienating men. Working with women is only half the problem. (By the way, I have personally heard numerous stories of females abusing males sexually. It happens more often than mainstream society realizes. 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused). Men need help as well. If we condemn men as evil and bad, then how are we fixing the problem? We are only alienating men and pushing them further away from the help they need. <br /><br />It may not be your intention, but the way the article talked about men can seem degrading. Don’t forget that men are not only half the problem, but men are also half the solution. <br /><br />If you really want to make a change, you will teach families (men and women) how to heal together. It is not about confronting men for their wrongs, because the instant you do that, they shut off their ears and refuse to listen. Even if you could have won them over to your side, now you lost your opportunity, because you offended them. <br /><br />Instead, teach men and women how to live together in a healthy way. Promote healthy men, rather than condemning unhealthy men.<br /><br />I admire and respect your drive, passion and heart. I hope you do well on your endeavors. I support the work you are doing.<br /> <br /><br />P.S. Google "Green Dot". They had much the same issues you do and can probably give you some insight into how to speak to men and get them rallied to your cause as well.jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10605685712372751524noreply@blogger.com